Our capability is heavily influenced by the abilities, motivations and viewpoints of people we work with closely. Those with whom you spend the most time and whom you value and gravitate towards will significantly influence your worldview.
Your Ambitions and Achivements is a by-product as the average of these 5-6 people
You may not know this, but who you choose and how you spend your time with your five to six closest associates will significantly impact your outlook, mood, enthusiasm for change, and the positivity of your relationships. In other words, you are the average of the 5-6 people you most clearly identify and work with closely.
You can see how your views and attitudes can change depending on those you choose to work with. You will see this when you change employer or change the reporting structure and have a new boss or direct reports. If you change your social activities, you may come across very different people and a circle of people who unconsciously influence what you do and think.
Select your associates carefully
It is essential to spend quality time with the people supporting you and helping each other. You will be aware that it is best to surround yourself with people who will support you and your success. This could be your family at home, your close circle of friends, or your work team.
What should your 'Dream Team' look like?
Your support team are the people who have your best interests at heart are there for you when you need them. They also need you. They should challenge you when required rather than let your standards slip. It is best to be grateful when they have ‘that talk’, and they may well stop you from behaving in ways that are not in your long term best interests. A good circle will prevent you from ‘making excuses’ and discourage you from taking outrageous risks or procrastinating when something needs to be done.
Radiators and Drains
There are two types of people – those who radiate warmth and positivity and those who drain others’ energy and cannot see the bright side of things, no matter how often you reframe them. Distance yourself from ‘drains’ and surround yourself with ‘radiators’.
Pay attention to the people trying to hold you back - question their attitude and the assumptions they are making. Ask them why they are harmful.
It would be best to view the people you associate with as a positive return on investment (ROI). Survey the groups and the five or six people you are with most of the time. Are you fully open with them, and are they with you? Is there mutual trust?
Are they willing to stick with you in challenging times?
If you were to design a fantasy team to support you, who would you choose? What are their essential traits and behaviours?
Better still, find a coach or mentor to help you assess your current circle of influence and the close relationships you have formed. Having an expert to support you to take a good look at yourself can pay dividends.